My armpit area break out is finally calming down. Now my stomach and back are flaring. Nothing too horrible. Still have rashy calves and hands.
Thrive:
I’ve been thriving (https://syirka.le-vel.com/) for 2 months now. I’ve lost 9.5 lbs, though weight loss wasn’t my main goal. The weight has been coming off as a direct result of me doing more during my day and eating healthier. I still have not started going to the gym, and I honestly do not FEEL like I am doing any work. I am taking daily “adventure” walks with my kiddo and hula hooping. One of my biggest concerns about Thrive was the cost. I shared in earlier posts about how bad my diet was. I looked at some numbers today. In the month of March I spent a total of $166.57(GASP!!) at convenience stores or fast food restaurants. This is debit only and doesn’t count the rare occurrence of cash pay. I looked at March because in April I traveled to see my sister and my spending habits were not my norm. May was my first full month on Thrive. I spent a total of $34.77 at those same stores. Holy crap. Now I know this calculation does not show saving money, because I am spending more on groceries now, buying healthier foods. It does show the very dramatic difference in my diet/shopping habits after starting Thrive.
I’m noticing some interesting things with my skin. I don’t know if it is the Supplements I’m taking or the normal progression of my TSW, but my skin is getting really soft again. My flare spots (hands, ankles, calves) are unchanged and continue to bother me, but the spots that are not flaring feel amazing. I am still reacting to the DFT patch so I have been using them only 3-4 times per week rather than every day. I am also still having some skin flaring surrounding my armpit area on both sides, it started with my Hormonal flare last month and has not left. Overall I had hoped to have some more progression with my skin by Summer, but it is what it is.
Thrive
I have been on Thrive for over a month now (https://syirka.le-vel.com/). I have discovered some things about the way Thrive does and does not work for me. The first 2 weeks were pretty awesome, I got lots of things done and felt better than I had in a long time.
The next 2 weeks I was still doing better than my pre-Thrive state, but I wasn’t doing as much. I was still able to abstain from Soda/Coffee, and I was still doing well at work, but I would come home and want to hit the couch again. I was falling asleep early again. I wasn’t sure about Thrive anymore.
A little more than a week ago I realized that I was fighting it. Sure I had the energy, but I didn’t really WANT to do things. I’m a home body. I enjoy solitude, have never been into sports or other physical activities, and generally avoid socializing if I can figure out how. Thrive is not magic. I did not suddenly turn into an extrovert that loves to run. I didn’t wake up and have a new personality. All that lovely natural energy derived from Thrive was turning into heavy anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I would sit on the couch and feel incredibly anxious, odd in my own skin. I would think about finding an activity to do or exercising, but I wasn’t able to go from thought to action. I finally figured out that no Supplement or Nutrition regimen will ever work if my mind is working against it. I messaged a friend and made plans for the weekend that included physical activity. When the day came I had the urge to cancel, but forced myself to go anyway. As soon as I got there I started to enjoy myself. I picked up a hula hoop and went for it. I feel like the exercise almost “activated” the energy to pick up again. It was like pushing a button. As soon as I started doing something I had even more energy and motivation to continue.
Now when I walk in the door after work, I try to picture a big red “activate” button in my head. I mentally push that button and start doing something physical (house cleaning or organizing, hooping in the living room.. whatever can get me moving). As long as I can remind myself to get started, I know I will have no problems continuing it. If my behind has the chance to get comfy on the couch, it’s much more of an uphill mental battle.
I have lost 7 lbs over the past month and 10 days, despite my stubborn periods where I wasn’t doing much. I am still eating healthier and am drawn to foods that are better for me. I haven’t wanted to step foot in a convenience store in weeks. I also am not even tempted to eat fast food (and the one time I did for convenience my body made me pay in a big way, GI distress like crazy).
Do I feel my first month was worth the amount I paid for it? Yes, for me it was. Something needed to change for me, and I think Thrive was the kick in the butt I needed.
Cleaning and organization do not come naturally to me. I truly have to work at it, and it has been harder since having a partner and child. I went into my weekend (Sun/Mon) with the intent to clean. I was up at 4 am on Sunday and jumped right into doing dishes after my shake. The shake is meant to be ingested 4 days/week. I’ve decided for my schedule that F-M works best.
The result of my weekend is a Kitchen that has been scrubbed down and a bathroom that sparkles. I actually did DEEP cleaning when usually all I have the energy for is surface stuff, if that. I also tackled the laundry which is a deep seated hatred for me since we do not have machines in house and use the apartment complex machines.
I think this part is mostly in my head, but I won’t argue with it: I started craving veggies. I thought about dinner and all I could picture in my head was greens. This from a meat and potatoes kinda girl. I had an awesome Salad from a place called Crisp. If you know me then you are probably aware of my strange anxiety issues around grocery shopping etc., so though I was craving good foods, I still ordered it. My anxiety problems are the next project for me to start addressing.
Today is the first day without the shake. I’m noticing a marked difference from the days I had it. I am awake and not craving caffeine or soda, but I don’t feel quite the same burst of energy in the morning I have the past 4 days.
Skin update:
My skin is still relatively calm. I have been itchy in the armpit area the last few days. Not sure if it is from the heat (85 in Portland yesterday), the sweating, the exercise from cleaning, the new Supplements, or if it is just the TSW monster saying its time. Otherwise nothing new to report on the skin front.
5/4/16
Skin update:
When I peeled off the DFT patch this morning there was a small amount of skin reaction. It always leaves a bit of an outline of residue that I need to scrub off. After scrubbing today I noticed the outline in rash form. It isn’t itchy and I’m thinking this is an area of skin that is more sensitive and will avoid using it in the future.Still going to keep using the patch because of the results I’m having energy wise.
Thrive update:
My energy did increase yesterday in the afternoon even without the shake. I decided, however, to drink a shake this morning and am considering ordering more so I can take it every day instead of 4x/week. I’m not great at figuring out healthy breakfast so the shake plus some fruit has been working for me.
I am still going strong on the no soda front. The natural caffeine in the Supplements makes the transition easier, no headaches or cravings.
I lost about 4lbs in the first 3 days. My weight has not changed much since then, and I’m guessing that drop was mostly from nixing the soda and drinking more water. My muscles are pleasantly sore though, telling me how much of a work out I’ve been getting just from cleaning house. When I’ve got things at home set up the way I want them I’m planning to begin an exercise routine.
5/5/16
Today was pretty low energy. Probably the most similar to how I felt before I started Thrive. Granted I didn’t go to sleep until about 9:30 pm and I have to wake up at 3 am. I also think it is pretty normal to have some ups and downs while adjusting. Not much to report for the day. The small rash from the DFT patch is going away, but I am getting a small reaction each time now. They do not itch and appear to heal pretty quickly so I am going to continue using them for now.
5/6/16
Today I woke up and had energy right away again. As much as I hate the idea of selling things, I really am considering becoming a promoter because of how much Thrive has worked for me. My website is https://syirka.le-vel.com/. Please feel free to contact me with questions about the site or products, it can be bothersome figuring the site out. You can see the products and find the PDF of the contents without a user name, but in order to see prices or buy anything you have to sign up.
My 5 3/4 year old told me yesterday that she “can’t wait to talk to Grandma so I can tell her how good you’ve been lately.” It has been awesome hearing the positive feedback from my family. My partner Jon also has mentioned how much better things have been this week. Both of us have been in a rut and the Thrive is helping me break us out. Our house is getting in order, and now that I have more energy I have been awake and able to have actual conversations with him.
I’ve noticed that when I consider my to-do list, things don’t seem insurmountable anymore. It’s definitely a huge change in my way of thinking. Just a week ago (really?? only a week?) it seemed like I was trying to climb mountains. Now they seem like small bumps in the road.
I’ve been binge reading the personal stories and experiences posted on the Le-vel Facebook page. They all resonate with me. Why is it that so many people feel the exact same way? No energy, no motivation, no drive to enjoy life anymore but to just get through.
Not everyone notices a difference right away, and many of them talk about how skeptical they were and how they started and stopped Thrive a few times along the way. Some say they didn’t notice a true difference for several weeks. I am grateful that it has been such an obvious difference so quickly for me. I am sure that I would have been one of the ones to toss it aside after a few days and say it was just another crap fad product. If any of you decide to give Thrive a try at some point (referred by me or not) please give it a real chance to work, at least a month, because being able to LIVE life is so worth it. I played hop scotch with my kid for almost 45 minutes yesterday, as in fully participated and made a jumping fool of myself. I even felt more comfortable with the small talk with the other parents at the playground.
Skin update:
I can’t tell if I’m just more optimistic and crazy or if it’s true but I’d swear the “good” parts of my skin are feeling so much softer. My boyfriend commented “you’re having a good skin day, feels soft.” My skin still looks like the last pictures I posted. I’m curious to see how my hormones affect my skin this month. Hopefully at 19 months in I don’t have too many roller coaster skin up and downs to go through left.
Yesterday morning at 3:15 am, as planned, I began my Thrive experience. I took the 2 capsules in the morning. I took a salt bath and drank my Vanilla shake after. The shake goes down pretty easily. Not exactly spectacular tasting, but not bad either. After that I put on the DFT patch. I put it on my bicep and then forgot about it for the rest of the day.
I had more energy fairly quickly. As a general skeptic of all things, I can’t ignore the possibility that my excitement about getting and starting the product might have led to my increase in energy.
By 5 am I had so much energy my lips felt like they were buzzing and I was pretty sure it wasn’t a Placebo affect. It almost felt like having too many cups of coffee. As luck would have it, it was an incredibly slow day at work. There I was with excesses energy and stuck in a locked dispensary the size of my (very small apartment) living room. At some point I realized I had been smiling all day. Not just my regular smile, but one of those ones that is a bit too wide and has a twinkle in the corner.
I had a bit of an energy crash at about 7 or 8 am. Nothing too horrid, and I don’t remember even considering drinking a coke, my usual go to. As a frame of reference to this coke problem, I decided I was going to give up soda on a whim about a month and a half ago. I got to work and told everyone I wasn’t going to have any soda and apologized for my probable crankiness. During my lunch break I raided our fridge and found someones fossil of a diet coke in the very back. Nobody claimed it, so I drank a soda I don’t even like that had probably expired before I started working there 6 years ago. I was too cowardly to check. I have soda issues.
My energy levels did pick up again. The lip buzzing calmed down, which was good. I did have 1 or 2 more energy dips throughout the day, but I’m not shocked. I’m going to share my horrific diet even though it’s embarrassing, because in the future I’d like to remember how bad it had gotten. Every day I would get my work day meals from a convenience store. A typical breakfast for me was a microwave sausage egg and cheese biscuit with either coffee or a coke. For lunch I would eat whatever gross microwaved burrito/sandwich/burger I picked for the day. Lunch was always accompanied by a coke of course. Yesterday I went from possibly one of the worst diets on the planet to eating an orange, apple, salad, and veggies with hummus, as well as drinking much more water during my work day without being annoyed or pissed off about it. I had become so disgusted with what I was doing to my body that I didn’t even plan to eat better that day, I just could not bring myself to buy that crap again. I still bought the food at 7-11, but progress is progress.
After work I was able to hang out with my daughter and really engage with her. We had what could have been, and was still a bit, of a tough day. She has been pushing limits a lot and we have been butting heads some. I found that I had more patience with her yesterday. I did a better job of trying to communicate and listen.
Day 2
I feel my body has regulated a bit and I am not as crazy affected as the first day when I was jumping in my skin. I still felt the energy increase but it was more pleasant and less manic than yesterday. Work was busy today, we had someone out, and I felt able to handle it well. Everything was more even keeled today. I didn’t particularly feel dips in energy, though I’m losing steam now, around 8 pm.
Overall I have high hopes. I have the day off tomorrow and I am hoping to tackle getting the house more organized.
Skin
I was worried that the patch or ingredients in the products may trigger a skin flare. I’m happy that I have not had any visible effects as of yet. The patch has not bothered me at all so far. I am fairly far along in my TSW. In the beginning I think it may have affected my skin very differently.
Some of you may have already come across those incredibly annoying posts on facebook. The ones where someone is trying out a supplement program and they love it and are trying to make money by selling it, not necessarily directly to you. This is Thrive. For the past month or more I have been seeing Thrive pop up in my facebook news feed. A friend Marie I knew from high school has been posting about it and the way it has changed her life. Every time I saw a new post I would internally scoff. Just some supplements that will give you more energy, help you lose weight (I’m probably the heaviest I’ve been without a child in my belly: 151 lbs- I gained the weight back and more after the anniversary flare), clear mental fog, improve mood etc. Yeah right. Too good to be true. It’s probably just a Placebo type effect. Yet I read every post. I read it and I shamefully pondered what life could be like if I too could have energy and motivation again.
Those of you going through TSW know very well how drained and fogged I feel on a daily basis. I could take naps at any point in the day if given the chance. I drink Soda. Lots of it. I sometimes also drink coffee. My brain often feels like its a few beats behind, like I’m always trying to catch up.
My skin is in a fairly clear stage at the moment. It might seem crazy to try to rock the boat by adding things in to my diet. To me it’s worth the risk of a flare.
What is Thrive?
The website Le-vel.com (which truthfully I found pretty annoying to navigate) describes it as a “lifestyle plan.” What this means is a 3 part morning routine. First is a vitamin, mineral, probiotic etc etc capsule to be taken first thing in the morning with water. These come in one form geared more toward men and one toward women. About a half an hour later the next step is a shake mix also made of vitamins, minerals, probiotics, etc. This comes in vanilla or chocolate. The last step is a DFT (Derma Fusion Technology) patch worn on the skin (eek! scary for TSWers but I’ll be a guinea pig).The patch, from what I can tell as a newbie, contains mostly appetite suppressant type things geared toward weight loss though it also claims to support energy and circulation. Some ingredients include Garcinia Cambogia and White Willow Bark.
Although it is somewhat difficult to tell on the website, you can order them all separately or as a group. If I have issues with the adhesive of the skin patch I will probably cut back to only the capsule and the shake.
**To be able to order anything on the website, you have to have been referred through someone. This encourages people to become “promoters” and get friends and others to try the product. As a promoter you can get free products , promotional things (vacations etc), as well as supplemental income if you are good at it. I felt immediately turned off by the idea of “selling” anything. It almost scared me away from trying Thrive at all. Here is the thing though. I am the one that contacted Marie based on curiosity in her posts. She never actually tried to sell me anything. I would never try to sell someone something if I thought it was BS and I trust that Marie wouldn’t recommend something to her friends if she didn’t believe in it.
I went ahead and ordered a 1 months supply of all three products. They are expensive but if I give up all the caffeinated products I drink as well as the snacking junk food I can put that money toward it. They shipped quickly and arrived today. I will start them tomorrow morning.
I have said in previous posts that I no longer monitor my diet or try different supplements to see how they affect my skin. I still feel this is true. My goal with Thrive is not to improve the condition of my skin, but to hopefully boost my energy and help me with general motivation and clarity. I do plan to change my diet because, well it’s a crappy diet for any person including those with skin problems.
October 3rd marked a full year off topical steroids. The day before,10/2/14, I had been in the deepest darkest feeling pits of hell. My skin was out of control. Huge portions of my body were red, raw, oozing, swelling and ITCHY. I was sitting in front of my computer with my legs propped up and oozing through the towel I had wrapped them in, and I remember thinking: “no, there is no way I just have eczema, this isn’t normal.” I honestly can’t remember what fortuitous search I typed into google, (something like eczema not responding to steroid treatment) but one of the first results was for the Itsan.org website. It was a light bulb moment. Everything on that website spoke to me. This was my experience, written right out there for the world to see. Other people were going through exactly what I was going through. I wanted to weep with relief and scream in anger all at once. This damn medication that I was using to “fix” my eczema had damaged my body beyond belief. That very first day though, I was granted something I hadn’t had in several years. Hope. I now had hope that my body could heal. That I might someday be able to wear shorts, a t-shirt, hell maybe even a bathing suit again, without tearing any uncovered skin to bits.
The year since that day has not been easy. The first few months were terrible beyond what I have words for. My body rebelled in many ways and I was incredibly unprepared. My hair fell out in gobs, I had cold chills that made my teeth chatter, my legs became so swollen it was painful to walk. My body stank, but showers were torture. I discovered the blissful relief that salt baths could bring and began spending as much time as possible in the tub. I had mood swings, going from crying and depressed, to crazed cranky bitch and back. I scratched so much and so hard that my fingers would cramp. No amount of deep breathing, distraction, or straight up yelling “don’t scratch” at myself helped. I would scour my skin, looking for any indication that I was healing. A small patch of new looking skin on the calf. A slightly smaller oozy spot. Then I would castigate myself later, after that new spot had been torn to shreds in the night (or day, lets be real). Between the skin and the insomnia that struck hard at around 3 weeks, I felt like a walking Zombie. I tried many many new things seeking relief. Diets, meditation, creams, oils, supplements, you name it.
Throughout it all I have learned some things about myself, and the world around me. I have learned that for me, the most important thing I can do to heal is relax. Those diets and creams and such did not really do much for me. They had me spending my time and energy always looking for a quick fix. If I stop eating this, then I won’t flare maybe. If I use this cream then the itch might stop. For me, I found that the anxiety that mounted within me while trying to figure out all of things I was doing to sabotage my body was worse than any food I was eating or routine I wasn’t following. This is obviously my own personal experience, and I don’t judge people who are on strict diet protocols or supplement regimes. I simply discovered that my journey through TSW is unique, as it is for each and every person going through it, and that I am much more comfortable and happy when I stop nitpicking myself.
I also discovered the importance of connections. I’m an introvert. I’d prefer to be home reading a book than just about anywhere else. I’ve always had trouble forging friendships in the real world. I came across the various TSW forums on facebook shortly after I started my withdrawal. The people on these forums have become virtual friends and family. I’ve shared more about myself, often pretty intimate details, with these guys than with people I have known for decades. Nipple flares, awkward anatomy questions, did my co-worker actually say that, is this normal, will it ever end?? Simply talking about shared trauma, joking about nonsense, and giving/receiving support has been huge for me.
I count myself pretty lucky, as my family and friends have all been supportive of me during this journey. People I haven’t talked to very much in years reached out to me as a result of my blog. To each and every one of you, I want to say thank you. It’s hard to put yourself out there, even if its while hiding behind a computer screen. Thank you for reading and spending a bit of your time with me. Thank you for not judging harshly,and trying to keep an open mind. An extra big special thank you to my partner in life Jon and my baby girl Cylee Rose for putting up with my quirks and difficulties. They are my light and have been pretty amazing and helpful. To my mother and sister, thank you for always being willing to listen, even though you know you can’t fix it and make it better.
So, how is life now? I used to imagine this date in my head, what life would be like, how I would feel. Honestly it doesn’t physically feel much different from month 7, or 9, or 11. I’m itchy, rashy in spots still, and still can’t do much for exercise or physical exertion without my skin freaking out. My skin isn’t perfect, far from it. Yet I’m smiling today. I’ve only got one oozing spot, on the middle finger of my left hand. It kind of feels symbolic somehow. I’m not as red as I used to be. I haven’t had the chills in months. My hair doesn’t seem to be falling out. Progress. More importantly, I’m optimistic. I made it through a year, what’s another couple years in the grand scheme of things. Someday I hope to live life with less restriction, and boy do I have plans.
So here I am, as of today.
Both legs 10-5-15
Left inside calf 10-5-15
Left outside calf 10-5-15
Right inside calf 10-5-15
Left hand 10-5-15
Right hand 10-5-15
Left elbow 10-5-15
Right elbow 10-5-15
Here are some side by side comparisons of the first months vs today
Once again I am having a hormonal related flare. Every single month. Like it isn’t enough to have to deal with periods and hormone fluctuations to begin with. Now it is literally visible on my skin when I am PMSing. I caught myself in a “What Would You Do?” youtube loop, crying the whole time. If any fellow warriors are looking for a way to occupy your brain and try to keep the itch at bay, try looking it up, I lost hours. I also then went to their website and filled out a form for a show suggestion. Here is a link to the site if you want to submit one too:
“An episode dedicated to skin conditions, particularly topical steroid withdrawal. You can find more information on Itsan.org. Like anyone with a skin condition can tell you, the judgement abounds. People can be cruel. People often say things like “you aren’t contagious, right?” Or give me what I have dubbed the “Ebola look.” Next they want to give you advice, like you haven’t tried every single thing on Earth to try to make your skin better. “Oh, it is so easy, you just need that cream from the dermatologist, it’ll clear it right up.” I haven’t had anyone step in, but the comments are most often made out of range of others hearing. I would love to see if bystanders would step in if they overheard someone making rude or bullying comments about a skin condition”
I understand that the advice from people is good-natured and not meant to be hurtful. Which is part of the reason I want it to get attention. Perhaps it would help people to have empathy if they were to hear how exhausting it can be to fake a smile and say “thanks, I hadn’t heard of that,” instead of getting into the fact that those creams caused your condition in the first place. Maybe it would gently encourage people to have confidence in a person’s ability to care for themselves. I don’t always have an hour to explain TSW and some days I’m just cranky and tired.
I actually think many people would step in and say something if they saw bullying of any form. I mostly just want to bring skin conditions to mainstream attention. So many people have them. Why is it still so taboo? When somebody asks me if I’m contagious, what I hear is “you are apparently too stupid to realize that you could pass something contagious to the people you are around.” If they don’t think I’m stupid, then they must think I am cruel and purposely trying to infect the masses.
OK, ranting over. Let’s talk about skin. During my calmer weeks my skin is doing well. It itches quite a bit still, but the irritation and bumps go down some. The rash usually shrinks to mostly my ankles, hands, and elbows. During the monthly flare my skin becomes irritated again, the itch gets worse, the rash spreads to take over my calves and forearms. Portland has been having a heatwave (at least it is to us) of 90 degree weather. The sweating is a huge irritation. I went to the park with a friend the other day and wanted to claw my skin off by the end. Still, it was nice to be out in the world and get a little sun and companionship. Got to enjoy watching some brave souls doing acroyoga. Another thing to watch on YouTube as a distraction.
A couple of days ago I hit the 6 month steroid free mark. I feel like 6 months is a mile stone in the life of TSW. I posted some update pictures a couple weeks back and the state of my skin has not really changed. Legs are broken out a bit more as well as my hands and arms due to monthly hormone fluctuation, but that is about it.
I wanted to post links to the products that I use and love. I am not trying to make money for anyone. I absolutely use and adore every single one of these things.
Product 1: Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar
This stuff is magical. Really I love it. I put it in my baths every morning. The benefits: helps prevent infection, helps reduce ooze, used to help acid reflux when taken internally.
Product 2: Dead Sea Salt
Again, magical. I use 1-2 cups in a full bath. It absolutely can STING at first and sometimes skin might not be ready for it. Always dilute it and test on a small part of the body. Benefits: Also helps dry ooze and prevent infection. I think that the dead sea salt is what is making the small bits of unaffected skin so so smooth. Can’t wait until more of my body looks that way.
Product 3: Sovereign Silver
I give credit to this stuff for helping me stave off skin infections, but it also has kept me healthier this winter/fall than I have been in the past 4-5 years. I take it orally to help prevent general infection, but also use it topically on spots that I worry are prone to infection. Do get the small particle kind and follow the instructions to not over use it, it can turn the skin blue if used incorrectly.
Product 4: Viscopaste bandages
These bandages are pre soaked in zinc. They can be creatively wrapped over most body parts and are amazing for helping to heal the really stubborn oozing and raw spots. They also help to stop from scratching the affected area as it is covered up. They can be really messy so I cover it with the next product.
Product 5: Tubular bandages
I use these over the viscopaste bandages. They help keep prevent my clothing from getting too gross as well.
Product 6: Destin
This is a zinc cream that I used a LOT in the early days after I heard about it. Zinc is amazing for the deep raw spots.
Product 7: Essential Oils
I use several. I have a tea tree/lavender mix that I use in the bath and in loads of laundry. It makes the icky ooze smell more bearable in the beginning.
Stephanie is an awesome lady that developed skin products while her very young son was going through TSW. I use her zinc balm as well as her lemongrass balm. They are amazing! The zinc is a more natural alternative to the store bought creams, and the lemongrass goes on so smoothly and is very soothing to irritated skin.
Every time I catch a glimpse of my hands lately, I can’t help but think how old they look. Wrinkles/elephant skin and lovely dry flakes. The left one is behaving more badly than the right still, hanging on to some troublesome spots.
Close up of the older looking skin, pic does not do it justice.
Right hand 5 months 22 days
Left hand 5 months 22 days
My TSW has progressed from the bottom up (with the exception of my hands which were my original eczema site and which have never completely cleared). My legs were the absolute worst in the first month. They have not cleared all the way yet but have improved a lot and are bothering me less than other areas. Not sure how I got the bruise.
TSW Day 13
11/23/14 day 51
Day 97
Legs 5 months 22 days
***Edit and full disclosure. After posting this I was looking it over for errors etc and got stuck staring at this leg picture progression. It really hit me that my legs are freaking better, so smooth. Holy crap. Seriously I lost at least 10 minutes there.
Then was my stomach/lower back/thighs to add in to the mix. My stomach just cleared this week. One night I went to bed with a rashy, itchy and broken out abdomen, the next I woke up with it free and clear. It’s crazy.
My arms flared not long after my stomach started. The elbows have been pretty annoying throughout. I just tried to get pictures of my arms, but it’s hard to do solo and they all ended up blurry. Not sure how some of you guys take such great pics on your own.
Each area has its own uniquely irritating characteristics. The legs flaring made it hard to walk. The stomach always gets irritated from the waistband of any pants I wear. The elbows continually crack because.. well it’s hard not to move at the joints.
The back though. The back is horrid. I can’t reach it. It itches and itches and itches without relief. I find that I rub it on fabric, which is worse than scratching because it rubs the skin off and creates a raw patch that burns like the fire of the sun if it gets wet. That’s right, it makes WATER burn. I learned that rubbing the skin off is worse than scratching it pretty early on, but it’s hard to put that in to practice when the itch is making you insane.
I don’t have any back pictures yet because I need to ask the boyfriend to take some, though it honestly doesn’t look anywhere near as bad as it feels. What a dichotomy. I don’t like my eczema to be obvious or visible, but I also don’t like when it doesn’t match what I am feeling. It’s as frustrating as trying to explain addiction (of any type) to someone who believes you are voluntarily hiding from the world rather than trapped within a disease.
I haven’t been posting as often, mainly because my health is, for lack of a better word, stagnant. Maybe my mother and co. can help me find a better word for what I am trying to describe. My skin is still changing daily. The overall effect is the same. Still itchy. Still have “bad” spots that are red, bumpy, itchy, and or painful. Its just that sometimes the areas move. Or get better for a day or two and then get worse. I feel like I ended February in much the same state as I started it. I can see how these interval months between bad flares can be a true test of endurance. It becomes difficult to work toward a goal when not seeing consistent improvement.
Lately I have been building elaborate lists in my head. I have “post TSW” lists, I have before I die lists, I have “get my shit together” lists.
Here for your perusal is part of my post TSW list in no particular order. Why is it that so many things have become much more appealing since being denied the opportunity to try them? I am naturally kind of chill, honestly pretty boring overall. Post TSW me is way cooler (and less inhibited. If I can walk around with my under-layers of skin showing, why not get a damn facial piercing?).
-get a nose piercing
-get the tattoo I have been craving (anybody get one since healing? any flare issues?)
-spend hours/days/months in the pool with my pool crazed kid
-wear revealing/less restrictive clothes… I’m ready to let this pale skin shine
-actually start playing the violin I bought the month before starting TSW. Same goes for learning to use the hula hoop I bought.
-take showers whenever I want
-sleep. Possibly for a month straight.
-Travel. I want to go to the amazing places all my lovely virtual friends/warriors are from
-learn to scuba dive
-get a massage (this has always freaked me out, eek! people touching me. Now I think it will be more like “yeah, go ahead and touch that beautiful skin.”)
unzipmyskinplease 